Might Be Kinky
by Kyron
Summary: A curious question, served with numerous bottles of wine, lead to interesting answers and bizarre conversation.


**Might be Kinky**

"Would Jazz be a leg or boob man?" Mikaela asked suddenly, her brow furrowed in concentration as she stared at the subtle swirls of the dark red wine in her glass.

The question was not entirely unexpected as the bots were typically a 'hot topic' of conversation every time the group of human females got together for one of their rare 'drinking binges'.

"Are we talking about chicken or body parts?" Judy asked, propping her head up with her hand.

"Body parts." the younger female replied. "Why would they like chicken?"

"Why would they like body parts?" came the retort.

"In theory. Work with me here." the girl replied, pointing her finger at Judy in mock admonishment.

"Legs. What does he need _more _chest for?" Maggie said, giving them a shrug and a look that seemed to say 'well, DUH!'.

"True." Mikaela assented, swirling the liquid into a mini whirl pool in her glass.

"What about Prime? What do you figure turns his engine over?" Maggie asked, nibbling on one of the tiny carrots that sat on the plate before them.

"Intellect?" Judy suggested.

"I agree. He'd be the one to go for the brainy type. I'd be willing to bet he's kinda snuggly too. A real 'beck and call' kinda guy." Sara said.

"He -would- be the whipped type." Maggie said, slumping lower in her chair in what could only be defined as a 'pout'. "The prude."

"Unless he has a thing for heels." Sara continued, waggling her eyebrows at the young blonde next to her.

"Hey!" came Maggie's indignant response.

"I'd be willing to bet he has a thing for controlling partners too." Judy added, taking a sip of her slowly warming wine.

"What, 'Say my name, bitch!' or something?" inquired the youngest member of the 'circle'.

"Maybe."

"…No. No, no, no…that's just…wrong." Maggie said, eyes a bit wide, and shook her head as if trying to expel the image from her mind.

"Think about it! Who'd -want- to be in charge _all the time_?" goaded Sara, poking Maggie in the knee in the process.

"Give him a direction he doesn't have to pick himself and you make the guy's day." added Mikaela, giving Maggie her own sly smile.

Maggie simply huffed, crossed her arms over her chest, and gave a polite nod to Judy as she refilled the wine glasses from the quickly depleting wine supply.

"What about Ironhide?" Maggie asked, arching her eyebrow towards Sara Lennox.

"Boobs. Easy." her target replied, swiftly.

"He's got a pretty impressive chest himself though." Mikaela said. "It's the shoulders…thing."

"_All_ of them have impressive chests. It's hardly a comparison." came Judy's retort.

"Ratchet." Sara inquired, giving the other females quick glances. "Booty?"

"Booty." Mikaela confirmed, raising her glass in mock salute to the medic's "chosen" kink.

"He'd be the one to go for a well-toned body and a good butt." the eldest of the group said.

"Then why does he stick around with Ironhide?" Mikaela asked.

"Because Ironhide has a good ass. I should know, I've seen it. Daily." Sara replied, giving the girl a rather conspiring grin before snatching up a bit of broccoli from the plate.

Mikaela sputtered.

"No. I did _not_ need that image. I need brain bleach." she said, downing her drink quickly.

"That just leaves us with sweet, little Bumblebee." Sara said, deciding to give the young girl a break while giving Judy an amused look.

"Foot fetish." Maggie answered, not even hesitating to contemplate.

"Seems oddly... appropriate for some reason." Judy replied, thoughtfully. It should've been a somewhat distressing thought that her son's guardian might be, by human standards at any rate, kinky but the combination of alcohol and playful moods seemed to debilitate that feeling into nothingness.

"It's those strut looking things on top of his feet. They look like big erections and bounce when he walks." Maggie continued, taking a large swig from her drink in the process.

There was a stunned silence for several moments before the group erupted in fits of laughter and disbelieving exclamations, followed by another round of glasses being filled by a giggling Sara Lennox.

"I'll bet that cop car…uh, Speedbump or whatever his name is…" Maggie said, waving her hand around as she tried to remember the name.

"Barricade?" Mikaela supplied, quirking her eyebrow at the blonde.

"Yes! That one…I'll bet-, quit looking at me like that Mikaela…I'll bet that he's totally into bondage."

Sara snorted into her wine, hastily setting the glass down in an attempt to not choke on the substance.

"Whips and handcuffs kinda things, huh?" Judy asked, giving the girl a small nod.

"Absolutely."

"What about that helicopter one?" the older woman asked.

"Spanking." Mikaela said with and affirmative nod.

Maggie, Sara and Judy all gave the youngest member of the group a wide-eyed look.

"How do you figure _that_?" Sara asked.

"I saw him after your hubby shot him in the crotch with that sabot round. The guy had no ass to begin with so it makes sense that he'd enjoy playin' with someone else's." she replied, shrugging.

The three other females took the answer in stride, each seeming to contemplate the rather bizarre logic involved.

"I'll bet he was getting it on with the tank guy. Or Starscream." Mikaela added, taking a small sip of her drink.

"No." Maggie said, setting her glass down with and pointing a finger at Mikaela. "Starscream would totally be into submissive role-play. I could see him being someone's bitch quite easily."

Judy chuckled and poured the blonde another glass, placing the now empty bottle to the side to join it's quickly growing brethren.

"Kinks now, huh? Okay. How's this for kinky. Jazz wears his Autobot insignia on his crotch."

The remaining females grew suddenly quiet and contemplative. Moments later, the entire table erupted into laughter and one blushing teenager.

"Oh my god. I can't believe we never noticed that!" Sara exclaimed.

"Looks like someone might've." Maggie said, giving a nod in Mikaela's direction.

The young girl looked up, eyes wide and face deep red. "Why are you looking at _me_?"

Sara leaned back in the chair and checked the time on her watch.

"Ladies…it's 4am and we're out of wine." she said, waving down the chorus of 'awww' that promptly followed. "I suggest that, since we're all gunna hate ourselves tomorrow as it is…we turn it in for the evening."

"Spoilsport." Maggie said, giving her a grin.

"Yes, well, call it 'mom instinct', right Judy?"

"Absolutely." Judy replied.

"Besides, I've got a crap load of new movies that need watching so let's see if we can put a dent in them. We'll pick this back up tomorrow night because, dammit, I've got questions."

The remaining women agreed and rose from the table to head inside. Maggie, however, lingered for a moment longer before following.

"Hey Mikaela!" she called. "What would you be willing to bet that Jazz is a hair puller."

"Maggie!" Mikaela squeeked, face redder than before as she spun towards the other girl.

"Not the caveman style, either. The really _good _kind of hair pulling? You know what I'm talking about, yes?"

"Oh you're so in for it now!" Mikaela said, chasing the equally inebriated Maggie inside.

Judy and Sara stayed back by the doors and watched as the two girls collapsed on the couches in an impromptu wrestling match.

"Yeah. Definitely got more questions." Sara said, wagging her eyebrows at the older woman before the pair of them entered the house for the night.


End file.
